Why do we love Love, when Love seems to hate us?
Jazmine Sullivan keeps it real. I adore that song--one of the truest songs ever sung.
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Friday, April 24, 2009
Sunday, April 19, 2009
On Missing Mass
I missed Mass today for the first time in many weeks. For no particular reason either; I just wasn't feeling 100% and it seemed like a lot of effort to go. Which was ridiculous because my younger sister spent the weekend at my house and would have been more than happy to watch my son so that I could attend Mass alone and actually concentrate without having to mind a rambunctious 4-year old (who is normally a PITA during Mass but was actually good last week at Easter Mass for a change). Said 4-year old's PITA-hood usually includes kicking the seats of the long-suffering parishioners who sit in front of us, squirming around, singing inappropriate songs during quiet times, and whining when Mommy gets to eat the "crackers and juice" and he doesn't. So it definitely would have been LESS effort to go than it usually is...
It's times like this that I miss being a Protestant. Protestants miss going to church and it's no big deal, right? At least it wasn't when I was a Protestant. I attended a Baptist church as a child and although we were encouraged to attend church faithfully, missing a Sunday certainly wasn't a mortal sin like it is for Catholics. You just went the next time and everything was gravy. No being excluded from any church rites due to mortal sin on your soul or anything heavy like that. Yep, that's right: for Catholics (and most likely Anglicans/Episcopalians and Lutherans) not going to Mass on Sundays is a mortal sin. We are commanded to remember the Lord's Day and keep it holy, after all, so it is the "breaking of a commandment" part that makes it not only sinful, but gravely sinful. Meaning, if I were to die without confessing my grave sin, I am going to hell. Pretty harsh for just feeling lazy on a Sunday, but those are the rules.
Having a mortal sin on my soul also means that I am forbidden to partake in the Eucharist (Communion) again until I go to confession. Or in more modern terms "perform the Sacrament of Reconciliation." By the way, I prefer the term "confession." I knew this was the consequence and I didn't go anyway, which makes it even more grievously sinful on my part. Blah. The Eucharist is my favorite part of Mass so being deprived of it is actually a real punishment--far more of a punishment than whatever penance I'm going to be given. I don't mean to sound deliberately cavalier about penances, but I thought my last few penances were kind of "light" for what was some pretty heavy sin (but that's a blog for another day... ) Taking communion, actually drinking the Blood and eating the Body, is the time that I feel closest to Christ more than any other time in my spiritual life, even prayer. I can almost picture myself at the Last Supper with Him as He establishes the new covenant with his Church. By the way, if I were to participate in the Eucharist with mortal sin on my soul, that itself is a mortal sin, and I have then exponentially compounded the amount of sin I'm carrying. Let's not go there.
Sooooo...missing Mass one lazy Sunday has cost me the Eucharist for the foreseeable future, as I will likely avoid confession until I miss the Eucharist enough that I grudgingly go. Confession sucks by the way--I always feel much better afterwards, but it's rather embarrassing and awkward, at least for me. Which is probably the point.
Have I learned my lesson? Probably, for now. I'll have to go out of my way one evening or on a weekend to go to confession, and thus it will take weeks for me to end up going, and in the meantime I'm deprived of my favorite part of the Mass. That's a lot of drama to deal with. Should have just gone to Mass in the first place!
It's times like this that I miss being a Protestant. Protestants miss going to church and it's no big deal, right? At least it wasn't when I was a Protestant. I attended a Baptist church as a child and although we were encouraged to attend church faithfully, missing a Sunday certainly wasn't a mortal sin like it is for Catholics. You just went the next time and everything was gravy. No being excluded from any church rites due to mortal sin on your soul or anything heavy like that. Yep, that's right: for Catholics (and most likely Anglicans/Episcopalians and Lutherans) not going to Mass on Sundays is a mortal sin. We are commanded to remember the Lord's Day and keep it holy, after all, so it is the "breaking of a commandment" part that makes it not only sinful, but gravely sinful. Meaning, if I were to die without confessing my grave sin, I am going to hell. Pretty harsh for just feeling lazy on a Sunday, but those are the rules.
Having a mortal sin on my soul also means that I am forbidden to partake in the Eucharist (Communion) again until I go to confession. Or in more modern terms "perform the Sacrament of Reconciliation." By the way, I prefer the term "confession." I knew this was the consequence and I didn't go anyway, which makes it even more grievously sinful on my part. Blah. The Eucharist is my favorite part of Mass so being deprived of it is actually a real punishment--far more of a punishment than whatever penance I'm going to be given. I don't mean to sound deliberately cavalier about penances, but I thought my last few penances were kind of "light" for what was some pretty heavy sin (but that's a blog for another day... ) Taking communion, actually drinking the Blood and eating the Body, is the time that I feel closest to Christ more than any other time in my spiritual life, even prayer. I can almost picture myself at the Last Supper with Him as He establishes the new covenant with his Church. By the way, if I were to participate in the Eucharist with mortal sin on my soul, that itself is a mortal sin, and I have then exponentially compounded the amount of sin I'm carrying. Let's not go there.
Sooooo...missing Mass one lazy Sunday has cost me the Eucharist for the foreseeable future, as I will likely avoid confession until I miss the Eucharist enough that I grudgingly go. Confession sucks by the way--I always feel much better afterwards, but it's rather embarrassing and awkward, at least for me. Which is probably the point.
Have I learned my lesson? Probably, for now. I'll have to go out of my way one evening or on a weekend to go to confession, and thus it will take weeks for me to end up going, and in the meantime I'm deprived of my favorite part of the Mass. That's a lot of drama to deal with. Should have just gone to Mass in the first place!
Leo Mars square Scorpio Venus
I consider myself a pretty expert student of astrology but even I managed to be surprised by the accuracy of this article regarding an aspect between two of my planets. Good grief...explains a lot!
How many definitions do you know for the word “drama”? If you’re stuck after the first three and need a little help, look no further than Mars in Leo square Venus in Scorpio. Drama is what it’s all about.
Leo Mars is dramatic enough on its own. This is a radiant, larger-than-life placement. People with Mars in Leo have a romantic movie-star script in their hearts, and will take whatever bold steps are necessary to play their roles to the hilt. Venus in Scorpio is no less passionate — their romantic roles often lean toward the noir, but are no less full-tilt and life-consuming.
Linked by a natal square, this is an intense influence. Passions run high, and pride is king — a jilted Leo Mars/Scorpio Venus lover can be downright scary. The secretive nature of Scorpio combined with the Leo ego can result in slashed tires, anonymous phone calls to the IRS, and unexpected rabbit stew. Not everyone with this aspect will be so overtly vindictive, of course, but there’s always a lifelong struggle with jealousy and possessiveness. If you love someone with this aspect, you will have scenes. Tears will flow and dishes will fly. It’s all part of the intense emotional script.
It’s a strong, sexy square, though, and a useful one to have, as squares go. Both men and women with this square are confident, charismatic, and seductive. It often gives a real flair for the arts, especially (need we say it?) drama. In a chart that leans toward the introverted side, this aspect can give a big dose of drive and determination. Venus is considered debilitated in Scorpio, but this particular dose of Leo can eliminate some of the dark broodiness of the placement — it’s a good square, so long as it’s kept under control.
When it’s out of control, it’s not attractive at all. Men with Leo Mars/Scorpio Venus tend to believe that they’re the greatest thing since sliced bagels — words like “arrogant,” “pompous” and “overblown twit” come to mind. They’re the ones who swagger up to you at the bar, in a smelly cloud of expensive cologne and tinkling gold chains, and ask if you’d like to have the privilege of their company for the evening. Oh, they’ll buy you a drink or four, whatever you’d like — extravagance is part of the show — but somehow you can’t shake the feeling that you’re being hit on by a cartoon.
Women with this square can actually have it a bit worse, if they’re not careful. Preoccupation with sex goes without saying (it’s Leo and Scorpio, after all) but in a woman, the sex drive can creep up and take over her entire life. Obsession is not nearly as much fun as it sometimes sounds, and lives can be ruined by a sexual addiction as quickly as by any other.
In both cases, the simplest remedy is to find a less-destructive outlet for the incredible drives of the Leo Mars/Scorpio Venus energy. Again, the arts are favorite, but physical sports and politics can be alternatives. No matter how it’s channeled — and sex will be the easiest road, the path most often taken — this square is a powerhouse.
The tough lesson of Leo Mars square Scorpio Venus? To accept the incredible vital force within, harness it, and divert it toward your highest goals. It takes time, effort, and a willingness to make mistakes — the stronger the force, the more difficult it is to learn to work with it — but eventually, this square can be a source of incredible personal power. Use it well.
How many definitions do you know for the word “drama”? If you’re stuck after the first three and need a little help, look no further than Mars in Leo square Venus in Scorpio. Drama is what it’s all about.
Leo Mars is dramatic enough on its own. This is a radiant, larger-than-life placement. People with Mars in Leo have a romantic movie-star script in their hearts, and will take whatever bold steps are necessary to play their roles to the hilt. Venus in Scorpio is no less passionate — their romantic roles often lean toward the noir, but are no less full-tilt and life-consuming.
Linked by a natal square, this is an intense influence. Passions run high, and pride is king — a jilted Leo Mars/Scorpio Venus lover can be downright scary. The secretive nature of Scorpio combined with the Leo ego can result in slashed tires, anonymous phone calls to the IRS, and unexpected rabbit stew. Not everyone with this aspect will be so overtly vindictive, of course, but there’s always a lifelong struggle with jealousy and possessiveness. If you love someone with this aspect, you will have scenes. Tears will flow and dishes will fly. It’s all part of the intense emotional script.
It’s a strong, sexy square, though, and a useful one to have, as squares go. Both men and women with this square are confident, charismatic, and seductive. It often gives a real flair for the arts, especially (need we say it?) drama. In a chart that leans toward the introverted side, this aspect can give a big dose of drive and determination. Venus is considered debilitated in Scorpio, but this particular dose of Leo can eliminate some of the dark broodiness of the placement — it’s a good square, so long as it’s kept under control.
When it’s out of control, it’s not attractive at all. Men with Leo Mars/Scorpio Venus tend to believe that they’re the greatest thing since sliced bagels — words like “arrogant,” “pompous” and “overblown twit” come to mind. They’re the ones who swagger up to you at the bar, in a smelly cloud of expensive cologne and tinkling gold chains, and ask if you’d like to have the privilege of their company for the evening. Oh, they’ll buy you a drink or four, whatever you’d like — extravagance is part of the show — but somehow you can’t shake the feeling that you’re being hit on by a cartoon.
Women with this square can actually have it a bit worse, if they’re not careful. Preoccupation with sex goes without saying (it’s Leo and Scorpio, after all) but in a woman, the sex drive can creep up and take over her entire life. Obsession is not nearly as much fun as it sometimes sounds, and lives can be ruined by a sexual addiction as quickly as by any other.
In both cases, the simplest remedy is to find a less-destructive outlet for the incredible drives of the Leo Mars/Scorpio Venus energy. Again, the arts are favorite, but physical sports and politics can be alternatives. No matter how it’s channeled — and sex will be the easiest road, the path most often taken — this square is a powerhouse.
The tough lesson of Leo Mars square Scorpio Venus? To accept the incredible vital force within, harness it, and divert it toward your highest goals. It takes time, effort, and a willingness to make mistakes — the stronger the force, the more difficult it is to learn to work with it — but eventually, this square can be a source of incredible personal power. Use it well.
Friday, April 17, 2009
Blonde Moment
So we're taking an overnight trip to Richmond for some training next month. Very exciting--not. It's only a little over an hour away from home. Anyway, a coworker tells me that she's booked herself a room at the Hampton Inn in Midlothian. I asked her, "Wait, it's in Hampton?"
What the hell was I thinking? Doh!
What the hell was I thinking? Doh!
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